Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World was unleashed last weekend. The $60 million, Edgar Wright directed video game romp is a strange foray into nostalgia, contemporary manga style fiction and stylistic filmmaking, so, when I went to see Pilgrim at the Arclight opening night, I had only an expectation: the film would be fun. Why then, did this collision of my beloved interests: manga, anime and video games feel slightly off mark?

It’s weird to see the very things I cherished in my youth being synthesized into a major studio releases. I was born in 1980′s and now my generation is now a prime target for 80′s nostalgia. From “pre-worn” graphic t-shirts to the resurgence of 2D side-scrolling platform games and 80′s action and ski flicks, us 20-something guys (and gals!) are getting it from every side.

Pilgrim shines with every  lovingly hand-crafted sound effect and video game call-out. It’s as though Edgar Wright kidnapped video game designers Shigeru Miyamoto and Hironobu Sakaguchi and forced them to work in a bunker deep under Los Angeles for Xbox Live points. Elements of every genre are present, just take a look at “Every Video Game Reference in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World” Pilgrim takes all my fun quirky, formerly niche interests and synthesizes them, and surprisingly for me, the sum is not as great as its parts.

Story with Character?

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, adapted from an award-winning comic by Bryan Lee O’Malley, takes some tenants of video gaming to heart. But perhaps not the right ones. In seeking to emulate a video game style, many of the characters seemed flat, literally one-note “non-player characters” (NPC’s) in a light-on-story fighting game. It felt more like I had been playing an hour or 2 of Tekken than watching a proper story.

What happens between the awesome over-the-top fighting? Sadly, it’s where things really fall apart. Many geeky movie goers may be willing to forgo the flicks apparent lack of motivation or depth (more on that in a second.) For what it’s worth, this is a beat-em-up style movie, it has a story as deep and transparent as beat-em-up games like Streets of Rage II.

In fighting games, the story serves the gameplay, it (often clumsily) sets up the next chance encounter and then you fight!  That’s a tough trick to pull off seven times in a 112 minute feature. But as exciting as each battle was, the fun was ephemeral, the enjoyment fleeting. Like a ride at a theme park, we’re “on rails” until it’s over.

The love story between Scott Pilgrim and Romona Flowers runs on auto pilot. Love stories have to be authentic, to keep me invested, even in silly or fun movies. The “on-to-the-next-one” mentality of Scott, where his friends and loved ones are concerned, makes it difficult to reconcile his apparent infatuation with Romona. The Romona character never does anything worthy of being fought for. Yeah she’s cute, aloof, totally-hip but really she’s kind of a dick. And as a result, I never once cheered for Romona and Scott to be together.

It’s disappointing to see the story machinations so clearly in play. Can you recall the names of seven of the evil exes? How about their back story or motivation? I wasn’t looking for gold, but I just don’t know enough about any character to truly care about why they needed to be vanquished. This coupled with the anemic relationship between Scott and Romona left so much to be desired.

Visual / Sound

Edgar Wright has always been good with the visual details (check out my Shaun of the Dead breakdown) and he mixes it up with a clever visual vocabulary. I was initially drawn to the energy and visual execution of Pilgrim. Despite this, it’s hard for me to peg why this familiar synthesis isn’t a home run.

In a recent Popular Mechanics article, VFX Supervisor Frazer Churchill explains how they distilled the video game juice:

The film is informed by video-game style, but it’s not like we looked at games and thought, ‘We’ve got to put that in there,” – Frazer Churchill

And there’s plenty of video game mythos and fanboy gems to go around. Observant listeners may perk up when they hear the theme for Nintendo’s Zelda, ring chimes from Sonic the Hedgehog,  the explosion of coins out of a defeated enemy, or literally the hundreds of other small handcrafted audio cues that, no doubt, took time to design and execute.

The onomatopoeic manga-style typography adds some whimsy. By the second hour, I’ve seen as many “action words” as I’m willing to to bear. And perhaps that’s part of the problem. Pilgrim is filled with visual flourishes that are delightful, in small doses.  If Pilgrim was 15 minute YouTube video it would likely have 80 million views. There are constant split screens, over-layed text, power-ups, all with fast paced quick cuts interspersed with cheeky visual jokes. A.D.D. theatre at its best. But how do you do long-form A.D.D.theatre?

Insert Coin to Continue

I’d put the performances in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World into the same category as movies like Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children or Resident Evil: Degeneration. With goofy delivery of lines like “I’m a little bi-furious!” the movie misfires with a quirky, strange Japanese-esque smile.

Pilgrim’s strength is with style and flash. Its depth will be a matter of much debate. Still, I like the universe in which Scott Pilgrim lives. In fact, I look forward to the Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World video game. The nostalgia crowd is already eating it up. And why not? After all, as I left the movie theater I thought to myself, “I wish I could have played that game instead of watching it.”

Over the weekend at The Great American Pitchfest I hosted Screenwriter Karaoke. Debra Eckerling of Write On! Online of wrangled me for a couple of moments during the Screenwriter Karaoke set-up and posted this video.

http://writeononline.com/2010/06/28/speaking-with-merrel-davis-creator-screenwriter-karaoke/

June is a very exciting month! Screenwriter Karaoke marks its birthday with a bang at The Great American PitchFest.

Screenwriter Karaoke is proudly sponsored by  CoverMyScript.com, Final Draft, Inc, Script Magazine, The Writers Store, L.A. Sings Karaoke, Sardo’s Bar, Coffey Sound, and our friends at #ScriptChat.

More details here.

Unlike novels, a script has implications far beyond the imagination of the reader. It is the document blue-print for an ultimately collaborative endeavor. In order to be an effective screenwriter, you need to be hyper aware of the production process and post-production process. I say aware, since you don’t have to do those tasks, you just need to know what is required of someone who does.

A couple of months ago at Screenwriter Karaoke, I was chatting with a writer about script dialogue. He was insistent that “real authentic dialogue is exactly like conversation.”  I responded that dialogue wasn’t actual conversation, but only gave the impression of conversation for the the sake of story. It is condensed and streamlined. After all, not everything we say in real life is interesting or even poignant. As we shared the exchange about a what dialogue needed to be,  he pulled the “well where did you learn how to write?” line. He’d gone to USC, was extolling the virtues of McKee or someone.  I simply said: “post-production.”

Pull the needle from the record! What, does the (mostly) solitary act of writing have to do with, say, cutting together a film? Quite a bit actually. Time and time again, I read scripts by writers who are woefully unaware that production and post process even takes place. For example: I often see scenes begin awkwardly with somebody walking into the room, simply to begin small talk, when the meat of the scene is a 30 second dialogue exchange on the couch later, where Jimmy tells Jane he’s joined a Poison cover band to avenge the death of his gerbil “Mikey.”

In a quest to mimic actual conversation, writers actually create the kind of stilted and obvious dialogue that makes most people groan. Film editing taught me to get in late and get out quick. Through my work, I’d spent so much time editing other people’s (bad!) dialogue, I began to gain a sense of what “good” dialogue sounded like to me. Part of a film editor’s job is to further finesse the dialogue, cut it so it sounds and feels natural, while maintaining the essence of the scene.  In many ways, the last cut of a film is the final draft of the script, or as Oscar nominated Director/Actor Peter Riegert said last year at the Southampton Screenwriting Conference: “Your script isn’t finished until opening night.”

As an editor, I was reverse engineering how to write a good scene.  I am able to recognize good dialogue when I read it in a script because I can see the semblance and pacing of “real” conversation, without all the boring parts. I am able to write good funny visual jokes that pop at the right moment, because I have an idea of when to get in and get out.

I put a call out to several writing and screenwriting communities for some comments on how their editing backgrounds have impacted their ability to write:

Xiaoniu (via reddit)

… I think it’s all part of what makes my film sense together, so it might have subconsciously influenced my writing.

Merrill Barr (Another Merrel?!)

You learn the idea of pacing early… when you bring that knowledge to writing, you end up pacing it the way you would edit something… It’s also helped the way I write movie/tv reviews. Reviews are written like a trailer almost. Short(ish), sweet, and to the point. I hate reviews that spend 4 paragraphs on nothing important. Most of my reviews never pass 700 words. You really shouldn’t need more than that.

Millstone99 (via Reddit)

I’ve spent a lot of time watching editors cut my extraneous dialogue (and sometimes entire scenes). So, I’m always thinking about the editor as I write. Is he just going to cut this bit anyway? Why do I think it’s so important, anyway?

So, the next time you write excruciatingly slow small talk, or have characters inexplicably enter the room at the beginning of the scene, think about how that scene will play visually, and how there would  be no way in hell, it would ever make it out of the editing room.

I encourage every writer to learn how to cut. I learned to cut on an AVID, and in recent years have moved to Final Cut Pro. There are many options out there. But, once you get a sense of how to assemble a scene visually, you’ll notice your writing will become more succinct. And even if you never work professionally as an editor, it is a skill and knowledge set which in no way can do harm to your ability to tell a story effectively. Get out there and be aware. Your story will be thankful for it.

Hey folks, a quick note. I have some excellent articles to share in the near future. In the mean time check out Xandy Sussan’s Six Deadly Script Sins Part 2 – Writing Edition.

Now, some great news the new Screenwriter Karaoke website is up! We’ve landed some awesome sponsors for next month’s appearance at The Great American Pitch Fest. (Final Draft and Script Mag to name a few.)

Just in time for tomorrow night! And don’t forget to follow the Screenwriter Karaoke Twitter account @SWKaraoke.

Thursday May 20th, 2010 at 8:30 PM
Sardo’s Grill and Lounge
259 N. PASS AVE.
BURBANK, CA 91505

Driving directions: Here NOTE: THE DETOUR!

This weekend I was glad to be a part of the ongoing and ever-growing Script Chat as a guest for their professional reader panel. In the past year, I’ve watched this small twitter chat go from real life colleagues and friends, and then sky rocket into six degrees of Twitter.

Twitter chats aren’t new, just take a look at the long list of Twitter chats about writing compiled by @inkyelbows and you’ll see what I mean. I entered the Twitter chat pool as a participant of #WriteChat but found the discourse was specific to fiction novel writing. I even lazily maintain my own chat #ScreenwritingSaturday. It’s an informal hash tag for causal weekend discussion. (Stop by!)

I have many peers that scoff at the idea of using Twitter. They complain they don’t care what I eat for breakfast.  But to be clear, I’ve staffed projects, met people, and received work through the magic of Twitter. I just smile when someone is excessively pessimistic about such things.

Community is important. I started Screenwriter Karaoke for this very reason. We, collectively, as a new era of filmmakers are carving out the attitudes and business models of tomorrow. It starts in the ground floor of dedicated professionals who are striving to make their work shine. It starts in communities like Script Chat.

My appearance as a panelist on Script Chat culminated with a special announcement — Double Feature: a new joint venture with CoverMyScript.com owner Xandy Sussan. We have harnessed our years of experience to provide simultaneous coverage and development services at a value to our clients. It is only with the support community can we try such enterprising things. So, thanks!

Some fun stuff on the horizon.

Screenwriter Karaoke Thursday March, 25th, 2010 8:30 PM

Sardo’s Grill and Lounge
259 N. PASS AVE.
BURBANK, CA 91505

CoverMyScript Inc. Will be giving away free script coverage at the event.

Script Chat: Professional Script Reader Panel – March 28, 2010

I love Twitter, it has been a great vehicle for me to connect with other filmmakers. So, I’m excited to announce I’ll be a guest of Twitter chat Script Chat for a script reader panel. You can read more about my work as a script reader and story analysis here, and be sure to check out Script Chat which takes place 5 p.m. PST every Sunday on Twitter. (You can follow me @UncompletedWork and look for the #scriptchat hash-tag.)

Thanks to everyone who came out to sing and network last week at Screenwriter Karaoke. Check out some pictures below. (Thanks Angie!)

In other news, New York Screenwriter Karaoke is next week! Tell your east coast friends. You can RSVP at meetup.com

January 28th 2010,  7:30 PM at
Baby Grand
161 Lafeyette St.
New York, NY 10013

photo credit: leinadsimpson

Screenwriter Karaoke is a monthly filmmaking network event organized by yours truly in two cities (NYC and LA.) It’s been a great vehicle to meet some wonderful, creative people. I encourage you to come out and mingle, sing or drink!

LA:
Thursday, January 14th, 2010 at 8:30 PM
Sardo’s Grill and Lounge
259 N. PASS AVE.
BURBANK, CA 91505

Driving directions: Here

NYC:
Since I am now in LA, I’m working with others to help co-organize NYC Screenwriter Karaoke. I anticipate the 3rd week of January for New York Screenwriter Karaoke. Stop by as the date nears for more information.

January TBD 2010 at 8:30 PM
Baby Grand
161 Lafeyette St.
New York, NY 10013

Sorry, I’ve been out of pocket this month. Still getting into the groove of LA life. Luckily part of that groove is some fun tomorrow at Screenwriter Karaoke LA.

THE NEXT SCREENWRITER KARAOKE EVENT IS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10TH, 8:30 PM AT SARDO’S BAR AND GRILL IN BURBANK, CA.

Thursday December 10th, 8:30 PM
Sardo’s Grill and Lounge
259 N. PASS AVE.
BURBANK, CA 91505

Driving directions: Here

TO RSVP PLEASE GOT TO THE MEETUP.COM EVENT PAGE HERE

The pictures are in. October’s Screenwriter Karaoke was the largest one yet. Screenwriters and filmmakers filled out the entire bar from end to end. The place was filled creative energy.

Check out the pictures. (Yes, I’m the guy in the hat.)

And be sure to come to November Screenwriter Karaoke. This will be the last Screenwriter Karaoke in New York City for a little bit while I set up shop in LA.

Time: Wednesday, November 4th, 8 p.m.

Location: Baby Grand
161 Lafayette Street at Grand
New York, NY 10013
212.219.8110

It is quite possible that you’ve landed on my blog and you aren’t aware that I also organize a filmmaking network event called Screenwriter Karaoke. Right now the events are NYC based, but I hope soon to have an LA counterpart.

What is Screenwriter Karaoke? Think of it as a way to let your hair down, step up, wail on Super Tramp’s “The Long Way Home,” and then talk about your latest romantic comedy script. Looking for a collaborative writing partner with a knack for 17th Century English? You just might find one at Screenwriter Karaoke.

The event aims to be an informal way to meet your writing and filmmaking peers. Sometimes network events are just awkward, so why not try to loosen up have a couple of drinks and sing?

When: October 15, 2009 8:00 PM
Where:
Baby Grand
161 Lafayette Street at Grand
New York, NY 10013
212.219.8110

Please RSVP: http://www.meetup.com/Screenwriter-Karaoke/

To prove there is nothing to be afraid of, here I am on the right, rocking out to some Build me up Buttercup!

This past Saturday, I was a special guest of Roberta Munroe’s “Best Short Film Workshop Ever” — It was a great event, and despite also being a speaker, I took some time to live tweet the event for all those who couldn’t make it.

Leah Meyerhoff and Kim Garland chat during "The Best Short Film Workshop Ever"

Here is a twitter transcript of the event. Look for a full write-up on the event soon!

• Heading on train to downtown to “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” headed by former Sundance Programmer Roberta Munroe. Gunna be a blast! 5:58 AM Sep 26th
• Introductions have begun – @robertamunroe is leading the room. Good turnout. #ScreenwritingSaturday7:33 AM Sep 26th
• In the “Best Short Film Workshop Ever” is a great mix of writers, directors, actors, and producers. #ScreenwritinSaturday7:43 AM Sep 26th
• Dispelling myths about Sundance “the # of good films never changed from year to year… despite increased # submissions.” – Roberta Munroe 7:51 AM Sep 26th
• On your short film for festival circuit “No opening credits, no long credits at the end” – Roberta Munroe. Don’t be overly self indulgent. 7:56 AM Sep 26th
• Surround yourself with others inline with your goals in filmmaking. “Surround yourself with genius” #ScreenwritingSaturday8:08 AM Sep 26th
• Workshop Break. Next up. ME! I’ll be talking about Mental Spackle, and where I “fell down” on my last short film. #ScreenwritingSaturday8:37 AM Sep 26th
• Talking about the Duplass Brothers — “This is John” and “The intervention” and “The Puffy Chair” #ScreenwritingSaturday8:55 AM Sep 26th
• The post-production process is the “final rewrite” — work is not done when you call “Wrap!’ #ScreenwritingSaturday9:24 AM Sep 26th from TweetDeck
• If you send a short film to festival — have your a feature script READY. If you a don’t you may be passed for other workshops @ festival. 9:28 AM Sep 26th
• “Youtube Screeningroom is the curated section of youtube. Filmmakers that got paid for their films” -Roberta Munroe http://bit.ly/C0MIO9:48 AM Sep 26th
• Nash Edgerton’s short film “Spider” — check it out! http://bit.ly/xTvPN (Roberta Recommends) 9:54 AM Sep 26th
• Break time from “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” #ScreenwritingSaturday9:54 AM Sep 26th
• Re: Your short film “Get a Casting Director.” N/E thing takes something off shoulders. “get to know casting assistants” -Roberta Munroe. 11:01 AM Sep 26th
• “Do not settle in your casting. Find someone that knows more than you. You are paying for their time.” – Roberta Munroe. 11:09 AM Sep 26th
• “Cover peoples cost, they will respect you, and work harder” – Roberta Munroe RE: Day rates on short films. 11:13 AM Sep 26th
• “Create a ‘look book’ of your movie. Take book to your DP/Producer/Prod Designer. This is your vision/Colors/Magazine clips” – Roberta Monroe. 11:16 AM Sep 26th
• “You should never ‘be’ a post-production supervisor, unless you ARE a post-production supervisor” — Roberta Munroe 11:41 AM Sep 26th
• “1st time filmmakers often don’t understand post-production process.” – Roberta M. Admit you don’t know everything & hire someone who does.11:44 AM Sep 26th
• What a good editor says “you are probably are not going to be in love with the first cut. This is a skeleton.” Good editor gives you options. 11:54 AM Sep 26th
• “Don’t get stuck on the Master Shot. Get your close shots, mediums. Move onto getting closer. Make sure you’ve the coverage” – Roberta Munroe 11:55 AM Sep 26th
• Check out “The Lean Forward Moment: Create Compelling Stories for Film, TV, and the Web” by Norman Hollyn http://bit.ly/15aqu912:12 PM Sep 26th
• “More sound design, less music. Sound Design can add muscle to a scene. Fill out, move dialogue.” -Roberta Monroe 12:21 PM Sep 26th
• “Do not put music in the first 3rd of your film. Should stand and deliver on its own. Music should accompany not overwhelm.” -Roberta Munroe. 12:24 PM Sep 26th
• For those wondering what I’m tweeting. Am a special guest @ “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” w/ Roberta Munroe former sundance programmer. 12:27 PM Sep 26th
• Now talking distribution with Leah Meyerhoff, @GoGoSlava will be here soon. 12:43 PM Sep 26th
• “If you want your short film to be distribution ready, don’t use recognizable music. You will not get the rights to The Who” -Roberta Munroe 12:47 PM Sep 26th
• “Take some pictures on set for promotional purposes.” It’s much better than pulling stills from your cut. They never look as good. 12:52 PM Sep 26th
• “Did you separate your Dialogue, Music, and Effects tracks? Ask about this in your soundmix! Important!” – Roberta Munroe. 12:57 PM Sep 26th
• “Contracts: Remember! “NON-EXCLUSIVE” never give all rights to single distribution co. Different Markets different needs” – Roberta Munroe. 1:01 PM Sep 26th
• “There is not a single distributor who can exploit your film worldwide. To be able to sell to as many people, non-exclusive!” -Roberta Munroe. 1:05 PM Sep 26th
• Now Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) speaking about distribution. When shopping “Twitch” she created a “distribution database”
• Leah’s (@leahland)Her short film Twitch won Grand Jury Prize at Slamdance http://bit.ly/78Jpv1:11 PM Sep 26th
• Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) sold exclusive rights for Twitch in Scandinavia for $7000. So there are cases when exclusive contracts work!1:12 PM Sep 26th
• “Sign all non-exclusive contracts you can. At this point it is about getting your work seen” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland ) 1:14 PM Sep 26th
• “Internet is murky & tricky. I held off releasing my film online until I completed the full festival run.” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) 1:16 PM Sep 26th
• Be sure to have a website for yourself or your film. Oh, and Slava Rubin (@GoGoSlava) has arrived to the workshop. 1:19 PM Sep 26th
• “The more kind buzz you build about yourself comes back 10 fold. I know the importance of how to have a great image” – @leahland1:25 PM Sep 26th
• “When you go to film festivals, you are collecting a database of people who may later be part of your filmmaking career” – Roberta Munroe 1:27 PM Sep 26th
• “Build an email list. Don’t spam. Create an ongoing conversation and engage about your film and filmmaking” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) 1:32 PM Sep 26th
• “Do not write a scathing email if you got rejection from a festival. It makes your look like an ass.” – Roberta Munroe 1:52 PM Sep 26th
• Now up is @GoGoSlava from Indie Go Go talking about raising about monies 2:06 PM Sep 26th
• “Email campaigns are the most undervalued items in your arsenal. Not just to market, but to engage filmmakers.” – Slava Rubin (@GoGoSlava) 2:14 PM Sep 26th
• Check out IndieGoGo provides “tools for fundraising, promotion, and discovery for filmmaking” Listening to @GoGoSlava speak. 2:28 PM Sep 26th
• Flyer from today’s “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” http://twitpic.com/j9l80 3:03 PM Sep 26th
• “Focus on European festivals that don’t charge submission $ Go w/ the free ones 1st. Learn your festival submissions chops”- Roberta Munroe3:08 PM Sep 26th
• Sundance is not the end-all-and-be-all of film festivals, there are others out there, that can help you get great traction. 3:09 PM Sep 26th
• Closing statements from @robertamunroe. [Merrel note: Ouch! My back is killing me!] 3:22 PM Sep 26th
• Workshop over, now back to your regularly scheduled tweeting. Thanks for indulging me! 4:08 PM Sep 26th
• Look for a recap of today’s filmmaking workshop and tweets on my blog sometime mid next week! 4:54 PM Sep 26th

Every once in a while I’ll skim Craigslist for production work. In addition to writing, and editing, I work various production roles and places like Craigslist, Mandy and Production Hub provide good, quick turn around for 2 day weekend shoots and the like.

But, this week I happened upon an interesting craigslist post for a “Ghostwriter for Screenplay.” A paid gig, but with some interesting caveats.

They were looking to pay $1000 for a completed script, much below the rate a screenwriter should charge for completing a full draft. Partly out of curiosity, I responded to the ad stating my rate. Little did I know it would turn into a cautionary example about how to protect yourself as a screenwriter.

And so the response came:

“Due to the overwhelming number of responses, we will be requiring all applicants to submit a draft writing sample to us in order to be considered.  You have the option of submitting one of your previous works (no more than 3 pages) or, as we would prefer, submitting a two-page screenplay based on details we will send you later tonight.

In the mean time, I will provide you with some brief background information about the Project.  The screenplay is for a dark comic thriller that takes place on a college campus.  The final product is intended to be approximately 110 pages long.

The story for the screenplay is in place in the form of a 30-page quasi script treatment; the job of the ghostwriting team will be to take that script treatment and transform it into an industry-recognized screenplay.

Each member of the team will be given their weekly writing assignments at a live meeting that takes place once per week at a location near the Financial District.  Team members will receive their weekly $100 payments at that meeting.  After receiving their assignments, team members will have approximately five (5) days to submit their assignment by email to the team supervisors.

The Project will take 10 weeks, and include 10 meetings.  Finally, each member of the team will be required to sign a ghostwriting agreement, which, among other things, will waive/release any rights to, or interest in, the screenplay (or any part thereof).

An email will be sent to you later tonight with details of the mandatory writing submission.”

I’m pretty sure they ignored my rate, or didn’t read my email at all. The parameters for the “Dark Comic Thriller” project are astounding. They want to piece-meal payment over 10 weeks, and they want to assemble “teams” to give “writing assignments” to write a 110 pg script? Can you spell red flags?!, seriously, because they could not. Waiving rights to the script isn’t too uncommon. If you are ghostwriting, generally you don’t get credit. But it all seemed very fishy. The follow-up email was just insane, and pushed me to write this very post.

Behold:

“The specifications for the required screenplay writing sample are below.

Note: in the body of your writing submission email, please print the following: “I hereby waive any claim to copyright protection over the attached writing.”

Assignment:  Please write a short (no longer than two-page) mini screenplay in an attached document, preferably MS Word.

Details of the Plot: The mini screenplay should tell the story of two college students meeting at a location.  One student attempts to get something from the other student.

Genre: dark comic thriller

Format: please use proper industry screenplay formatting. This website http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/howtoformatascreenplay provides a helpful primer.

Max Length: two pages in proper format

Deadline: this Friday, September 25, 2009 at midnight.  If you want to have your submission read before any member of the team is hired, you must submit your sample by midnight on Friday night.  You may still send in your submission after that; however, we cannot guarantee your submission will be read before the team is hired.

Note: please pay particular attention to the quality of the dialogue.”

Have you recovered? Where do we start?

• “I hereby waive any claim to copyright protection over the attached writing.” Did you catch that? Your writing sample belongs to them. That’s right, they are asking for “writing samples” as a free way to get scenes written for this “Dark Comic Thriller.” They have the gall to ask writers to give up full rights, without even being paid for their work. This is akin to asking a graphic designer to design a logo on spec, then not paying him, and taking his logo.
• No 110 page script needs a team of, say, ten people concurrently to assemble it. This is ridiculous. They claim have a 30 page treatment already, so presumably there is some outline done. Why would anyone need ten people, going in ten different directions, reporting to “team supervisors” after they get their “writing assignments?”
• When I invoice a client I do it in one to two ways 1) I invoice for full upfront payment for things like coverage, notes, and post-production services or 2) I invoice 40% upfront 60% after completion for development, polishes, re-writes. No one serious will piece-meal $100 a week over ten weeks, subject to approval by their “team supervisors.”
• A link on screenplay formatting as a “helpful primer” shows these people are targeting novice and aspiring screenwriters. Any serious screenwriter is already comfortable with the format of their trade.
• A “mini-screenplay?” A script in MS Word? How about some scenes in an industry standard file format like, say, Final Draft.
• To top it all off they’ve added an arbitrary deadline to add some sort of impression of urgency. It is just insulting.

Be weary of any job listing that promises the world. If something feels fishy, trust your gut. Whomever posted this ad, went to great lengths to obfuscate who they are and they designed a scenario to extract unpaid written work and rights from screenwriters. You’ll likely have no recourse if they stole your “writing sample.” You wouldn’t even know who they were. Remember, the most of the worthwhile work you find will be a mixture of in person networking, talent, and referrals. The people you’ve worked with before are the best bet to scare up additional work.

Screenwriters take note: You are valuable, and you needn’t allow so-called “producers” or other self proclaimed industry folk to take advantage of you. Your work is a commodity, a commodity that needs to be paid for. There are plenty times when you may write something that won’t bear your name, but you should be fully compensated for that work. If you write anything on spec, it should be your spec script, one that you are vested in. Keep all this in mind when looking for screenwriting work and good luck!

Good news folks! I’ve been invited as a special guest to Roberta Munroe’s Best Short Film Workshop Ever, this weekend September 26th in NYC. I will be speaking with Roberta about short film script structure, things like how to creating characters that are immediately engaging.

You may recall Roberta put on a great workshop at DCTV last March, Please check out my detailed recap of the event if you haven’t, it is chock full of goodness

If you are a short filmmaker come out to this event. Roberta is a sharp filmmaker who has judged over 15,000 films for large festivals like Sundance. The workshop will cover:

• Story
• Structure
• Production Distribution
• Film Festival Circuit
• How To Actually Make Money From Your Short Film

See you there!