Unlike novels, a script has implications far beyond the imagination of the reader. It is the document blue-print for an ultimately collaborative endeavor. In order to be an effective screenwriter, you need to be hyper aware of the production process and post-production process. I say aware, since you don’t have to do those tasks, you just need to know what is required of someone who does.

A couple of months ago at Screenwriter Karaoke, I was chatting with a writer about script dialogue. He was insistent that “real authentic dialogue is exactly like conversation.”  I responded that dialogue wasn’t actual conversation, but only gave the impression of conversation for the the sake of story. It is condensed and streamlined. After all, not everything we say in real life is interesting or even poignant. As we shared the exchange about a what dialogue needed to be,  he pulled the “well where did you learn how to write?” line. He’d gone to USC, was extolling the virtues of McKee or someone.  I simply said: “post-production.”

Pull the needle from the record! What, does the (mostly) solitary act of writing have to do with, say, cutting together a film? Quite a bit actually. Time and time again, I read scripts by writers who are woefully unaware that production and post process even takes place. For example: I often see scenes begin awkwardly with somebody walking into the room, simply to begin small talk, when the meat of the scene is a 30 second dialogue exchange on the couch later, where Jimmy tells Jane he’s joined a Poison cover band to avenge the death of his gerbil “Mikey.”

In a quest to mimic actual conversation, writers actually create the kind of stilted and obvious dialogue that makes most people groan. Film editing taught me to get in late and get out quick. Through my work, I’d spent so much time editing other people’s (bad!) dialogue, I began to gain a sense of what “good” dialogue sounded like to me. Part of a film editor’s job is to further finesse the dialogue, cut it so it sounds and feels natural, while maintaining the essence of the scene.  In many ways, the last cut of a film is the final draft of the script, or as Oscar nominated Director/Actor Peter Riegert said last year at the Southampton Screenwriting Conference: “Your script isn’t finished until opening night.”

As an editor, I was reverse engineering how to write a good scene.  I am able to recognize good dialogue when I read it in a script because I can see the semblance and pacing of “real” conversation, without all the boring parts. I am able to write good funny visual jokes that pop at the right moment, because I have an idea of when to get in and get out.

I put a call out to several writing and screenwriting communities for some comments on how their editing backgrounds have impacted their ability to write:

Xiaoniu (via reddit)

… I think it’s all part of what makes my film sense together, so it might have subconsciously influenced my writing.

Merrill Barr (Another Merrel?!)

You learn the idea of pacing early… when you bring that knowledge to writing, you end up pacing it the way you would edit something… It’s also helped the way I write movie/tv reviews. Reviews are written like a trailer almost. Short(ish), sweet, and to the point. I hate reviews that spend 4 paragraphs on nothing important. Most of my reviews never pass 700 words. You really shouldn’t need more than that.

Millstone99 (via Reddit)

I’ve spent a lot of time watching editors cut my extraneous dialogue (and sometimes entire scenes). So, I’m always thinking about the editor as I write. Is he just going to cut this bit anyway? Why do I think it’s so important, anyway?

So, the next time you write excruciatingly slow small talk, or have characters inexplicably enter the room at the beginning of the scene, think about how that scene will play visually, and how there would  be no way in hell, it would ever make it out of the editing room.

I encourage every writer to learn how to cut. I learned to cut on an AVID, and in recent years have moved to Final Cut Pro. There are many options out there. But, once you get a sense of how to assemble a scene visually, you’ll notice your writing will become more succinct. And even if you never work professionally as an editor, it is a skill and knowledge set which in no way can do harm to your ability to tell a story effectively. Get out there and be aware. Your story will be thankful for it.

This weekend I was glad to be a part of the ongoing and ever-growing Script Chat as a guest for their professional reader panel. In the past year, I’ve watched this small twitter chat go from real life colleagues and friends, and then sky rocket into six degrees of Twitter.

Twitter chats aren’t new, just take a look at the long list of Twitter chats about writing compiled by @inkyelbows and you’ll see what I mean. I entered the Twitter chat pool as a participant of #WriteChat but found the discourse was specific to fiction novel writing. I even lazily maintain my own chat #ScreenwritingSaturday. It’s an informal hash tag for causal weekend discussion. (Stop by!)

I have many peers that scoff at the idea of using Twitter. They complain they don’t care what I eat for breakfast.  But to be clear, I’ve staffed projects, met people, and received work through the magic of Twitter. I just smile when someone is excessively pessimistic about such things.

Community is important. I started Screenwriter Karaoke for this very reason. We, collectively, as a new era of filmmakers are carving out the attitudes and business models of tomorrow. It starts in the ground floor of dedicated professionals who are striving to make their work shine. It starts in communities like Script Chat.

My appearance as a panelist on Script Chat culminated with a special announcement — Double Feature: a new joint venture with CoverMyScript.com owner Xandy Sussan. We have harnessed our years of experience to provide simultaneous coverage and development services at a value to our clients. It is only with the support community can we try such enterprising things. So, thanks!

Some fun stuff on the horizon.

Screenwriter Karaoke Thursday March, 25th, 2010 8:30 PM

Sardo’s Grill and Lounge
259 N. PASS AVE.
BURBANK, CA 91505

CoverMyScript Inc. Will be giving away free script coverage at the event.

Script Chat: Professional Script Reader Panel – March 28, 2010

I love Twitter, it has been a great vehicle for me to connect with other filmmakers. So, I’m excited to announce I’ll be a guest of Twitter chat Script Chat for a script reader panel. You can read more about my work as a script reader and story analysis here, and be sure to check out Script Chat which takes place 5 p.m. PST every Sunday on Twitter. (You can follow me @UncompletedWork and look for the #scriptchat hash-tag.)

Back in 2002 I was studying to be an audio engineer at The Sheffield Institute for the Recording Arts. I reasoned that since I fancied myself a musician, it was an important step to learn how to produce my own music.

I further studied and later re-directed my focus on production and post-production for film. It was an excellent choice which gave me an important educational foundation to move onto and pursue rewarding work.

So, it is very exciting to share that nearly eight years after I graduated from Sheffield that I’ve been featured in their Alumni online magazine. Check it out!

This past Saturday, I was a special guest of Roberta Munroe’s “Best Short Film Workshop Ever” — It was a great event, and despite also being a speaker, I took some time to live tweet the event for all those who couldn’t make it.

Leah Meyerhoff and Kim Garland chat during "The Best Short Film Workshop Ever"

Here is a twitter transcript of the event. Look for a full write-up on the event soon!

• Heading on train to downtown to “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” headed by former Sundance Programmer Roberta Munroe. Gunna be a blast! 5:58 AM Sep 26th
• Introductions have begun – @robertamunroe is leading the room. Good turnout. #ScreenwritingSaturday7:33 AM Sep 26th
• In the “Best Short Film Workshop Ever” is a great mix of writers, directors, actors, and producers. #ScreenwritinSaturday7:43 AM Sep 26th
• Dispelling myths about Sundance “the # of good films never changed from year to year… despite increased # submissions.” – Roberta Munroe 7:51 AM Sep 26th
• On your short film for festival circuit “No opening credits, no long credits at the end” – Roberta Munroe. Don’t be overly self indulgent. 7:56 AM Sep 26th
• Surround yourself with others inline with your goals in filmmaking. “Surround yourself with genius” #ScreenwritingSaturday8:08 AM Sep 26th
• Workshop Break. Next up. ME! I’ll be talking about Mental Spackle, and where I “fell down” on my last short film. #ScreenwritingSaturday8:37 AM Sep 26th
• Talking about the Duplass Brothers — “This is John” and “The intervention” and “The Puffy Chair” #ScreenwritingSaturday8:55 AM Sep 26th
• The post-production process is the “final rewrite” — work is not done when you call “Wrap!’ #ScreenwritingSaturday9:24 AM Sep 26th from TweetDeck
• If you send a short film to festival — have your a feature script READY. If you a don’t you may be passed for other workshops @ festival. 9:28 AM Sep 26th
• “Youtube Screeningroom is the curated section of youtube. Filmmakers that got paid for their films” -Roberta Munroe http://bit.ly/C0MIO9:48 AM Sep 26th
• Nash Edgerton’s short film “Spider” — check it out! http://bit.ly/xTvPN (Roberta Recommends) 9:54 AM Sep 26th
• Break time from “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” #ScreenwritingSaturday9:54 AM Sep 26th
• Re: Your short film “Get a Casting Director.” N/E thing takes something off shoulders. “get to know casting assistants” -Roberta Munroe. 11:01 AM Sep 26th
• “Do not settle in your casting. Find someone that knows more than you. You are paying for their time.” – Roberta Munroe. 11:09 AM Sep 26th
• “Cover peoples cost, they will respect you, and work harder” – Roberta Munroe RE: Day rates on short films. 11:13 AM Sep 26th
• “Create a ‘look book’ of your movie. Take book to your DP/Producer/Prod Designer. This is your vision/Colors/Magazine clips” – Roberta Monroe. 11:16 AM Sep 26th
• “You should never ‘be’ a post-production supervisor, unless you ARE a post-production supervisor” — Roberta Munroe 11:41 AM Sep 26th
• “1st time filmmakers often don’t understand post-production process.” – Roberta M. Admit you don’t know everything & hire someone who does.11:44 AM Sep 26th
• What a good editor says “you are probably are not going to be in love with the first cut. This is a skeleton.” Good editor gives you options. 11:54 AM Sep 26th
• “Don’t get stuck on the Master Shot. Get your close shots, mediums. Move onto getting closer. Make sure you’ve the coverage” – Roberta Munroe 11:55 AM Sep 26th
• Check out “The Lean Forward Moment: Create Compelling Stories for Film, TV, and the Web” by Norman Hollyn http://bit.ly/15aqu912:12 PM Sep 26th
• “More sound design, less music. Sound Design can add muscle to a scene. Fill out, move dialogue.” -Roberta Monroe 12:21 PM Sep 26th
• “Do not put music in the first 3rd of your film. Should stand and deliver on its own. Music should accompany not overwhelm.” -Roberta Munroe. 12:24 PM Sep 26th
• For those wondering what I’m tweeting. Am a special guest @ “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” w/ Roberta Munroe former sundance programmer. 12:27 PM Sep 26th
• Now talking distribution with Leah Meyerhoff, @GoGoSlava will be here soon. 12:43 PM Sep 26th
• “If you want your short film to be distribution ready, don’t use recognizable music. You will not get the rights to The Who” -Roberta Munroe 12:47 PM Sep 26th
• “Take some pictures on set for promotional purposes.” It’s much better than pulling stills from your cut. They never look as good. 12:52 PM Sep 26th
• “Did you separate your Dialogue, Music, and Effects tracks? Ask about this in your soundmix! Important!” – Roberta Munroe. 12:57 PM Sep 26th
• “Contracts: Remember! “NON-EXCLUSIVE” never give all rights to single distribution co. Different Markets different needs” – Roberta Munroe. 1:01 PM Sep 26th
• “There is not a single distributor who can exploit your film worldwide. To be able to sell to as many people, non-exclusive!” -Roberta Munroe. 1:05 PM Sep 26th
• Now Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) speaking about distribution. When shopping “Twitch” she created a “distribution database”
• Leah’s (@leahland)Her short film Twitch won Grand Jury Prize at Slamdance http://bit.ly/78Jpv1:11 PM Sep 26th
• Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) sold exclusive rights for Twitch in Scandinavia for $7000. So there are cases when exclusive contracts work!1:12 PM Sep 26th
• “Sign all non-exclusive contracts you can. At this point it is about getting your work seen” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland ) 1:14 PM Sep 26th
• “Internet is murky & tricky. I held off releasing my film online until I completed the full festival run.” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) 1:16 PM Sep 26th
• Be sure to have a website for yourself or your film. Oh, and Slava Rubin (@GoGoSlava) has arrived to the workshop. 1:19 PM Sep 26th
• “The more kind buzz you build about yourself comes back 10 fold. I know the importance of how to have a great image” – @leahland1:25 PM Sep 26th
• “When you go to film festivals, you are collecting a database of people who may later be part of your filmmaking career” – Roberta Munroe 1:27 PM Sep 26th
• “Build an email list. Don’t spam. Create an ongoing conversation and engage about your film and filmmaking” – Leah Meyerhoff (@leahland) 1:32 PM Sep 26th
• “Do not write a scathing email if you got rejection from a festival. It makes your look like an ass.” – Roberta Munroe 1:52 PM Sep 26th
• Now up is @GoGoSlava from Indie Go Go talking about raising about monies 2:06 PM Sep 26th
• “Email campaigns are the most undervalued items in your arsenal. Not just to market, but to engage filmmakers.” – Slava Rubin (@GoGoSlava) 2:14 PM Sep 26th
• Check out IndieGoGo provides “tools for fundraising, promotion, and discovery for filmmaking” Listening to @GoGoSlava speak. 2:28 PM Sep 26th
• Flyer from today’s “The Best Short Film Workshop Ever” http://twitpic.com/j9l80 3:03 PM Sep 26th
• “Focus on European festivals that don’t charge submission $ Go w/ the free ones 1st. Learn your festival submissions chops”- Roberta Munroe3:08 PM Sep 26th
• Sundance is not the end-all-and-be-all of film festivals, there are others out there, that can help you get great traction. 3:09 PM Sep 26th
• Closing statements from @robertamunroe. [Merrel note: Ouch! My back is killing me!] 3:22 PM Sep 26th
• Workshop over, now back to your regularly scheduled tweeting. Thanks for indulging me! 4:08 PM Sep 26th
• Look for a recap of today’s filmmaking workshop and tweets on my blog sometime mid next week! 4:54 PM Sep 26th

Good news folks! I’ve been invited as a special guest to Roberta Munroe’s Best Short Film Workshop Ever, this weekend September 26th in NYC. I will be speaking with Roberta about short film script structure, things like how to creating characters that are immediately engaging.

You may recall Roberta put on a great workshop at DCTV last March, Please check out my detailed recap of the event if you haven’t, it is chock full of goodness

If you are a short filmmaker come out to this event. Roberta is a sharp filmmaker who has judged over 15,000 films for large festivals like Sundance. The workshop will cover:

• Story
• Structure
• Production Distribution
• Film Festival Circuit
• How To Actually Make Money From Your Short Film

See you there!

I’ve been asked a many of times through email about what exactly I do as a script reader, and what the rewards for doing such work are. I’ve formulated my emails into a more comprehensive post for your reading enjoyment.

Why do I read scripts?

Script reading is great as a vehicle to help cultivate your own craft. It’s a crash course in what to do and more importantly what NOT to do in your own scripts. It also allows me to connect with other writers and help them with their work.

I got my whistle wet with some one-off gigs, and started writing coverage just for experience. After a while, I answered an ad for a reader at a management company. Now I freelance as a reader as well.

In reading the work of others, it has made me aware of the landscape of scripts in the spec market. In many cases these are my peers and counterparts, so it is a good education. For example: in the past year I’ve observed some prevailing themes, and “go to” stories are that have popped up again and again. One reoccurring dramatic device seems to be setting a story either right before/during/after 9/11 – often to the detriment of the story.

How do I evaluate scripts?

Honesty is key – I evaluate a script in the same manner that I would expect somebody to analyze my work. Which means a forthright and constructive analysis. When I evaluate for a company, my notes come with a recommendation on whether to consider or pass. In many cases, I am the first line of defense between your script and ‘people that matter’ reading your script.

My goal is not to artificially elevate the script or the writer. I evaluate scripts based on what is actually on the page. That is to say, I grade based on the reality of their work, not their perceived intention.

Some excerpts of from general notes I’ve provided.

On a time travel romantic comedy:

“A brisk, funny script with a clearly delineated premise of love and time travel. An effective subplot about gender roles and marriage complements the main story. Though elements of the script are derivative, such as ‘the time traveler forced to make a decision about love’ or ‘the academic forced to see the role of women through his own eyes’, these elements come together well.

The plot of the script is ultimately predictable, but reaches the climax in an enjoyable fashion. Main characters are strong, whereas some secondary characters need development. The dialogue is contemporary despite being a time-piece and scientific dialogue can be overly technical without visual aide. Consider: the sum of its part make for a campy, funny albeit expected screenplay.”

On a gritty NYC crime drama:

“…The set-up begins strong. There is a solid first act, in which the perceived protagonist goes missing. Quickly though, the script loses direction, as the character introduced in the act one is never referred to or seen again.

The script has many formatting, structure and pacing problems that affect the readability and intended meaning of some scenes. A large amount of the action text is novelized, features overly wordy terms, lengthy internal dialogue, and omniscient declarations of character’s feelings.

While the concept of a missing person, a love triangle, and drug deals gone bad are compelling, the script lacks a cohesive execution to bring all these strands together.”

What do I look for when reading a script?

I can usually tell within the first couple of pages what type of script it’s going to be. Good scripts, for me, are almost always immediately engaging. These are a just a small number of the things that I’ll make note of while reading your script.

• Readability is key. Since your script is not the only one I’m reading, things like concise scene headings and clear action text allow for a brisk read. I shouldn’t have to double-back and re-read something because it is unclear. I can usually read a good script 2-3 hours, where as bad scripts actually take longer.
• Sharp involving dialogue. Easier said than done, but, believable dialogue is so important to suspension of disbelief. Poor or even innocuous dialogue can reduce dramatic impact on a scene or even the whole script.
• A new perspective or idea. As an example, we’ve seen countless zombie movies from the point of view of the sole surviving humans fending off the undead. The recently Cannes screened Colin takes that perspective and flips it, following from the point of view of a zombie. It is a new approach that still utilizes the established convention of the zombie genre.
• Not just a clever premise, but a clever execution. A script must stand on more than its log-line. If your script is AMERICAN PSYCHO meets IRON CHEF – that idea must be sold solidly throughout. The script cannot rely on good intention alone.
• Concise yet illustrative action text that puts me in a location quickly and clearly. This allows me to get to the meat (usually dialogue) easily.

What are the No-No’s?

These things will cause me to bemoan and curse you. Don’t do them.

• If you haven’t taken the time to proof read, edit, and correct your script why should I care about your work? It’s clear you don’t. The same goes for formatting. If you don’t even attempt to format a script, you don’t want it as much as you say you do.
• Excessive exposition in dialogue and action text. Sometimes exposition may be a necessary device (depending on the type of script) but most of the time exposition by design belabors and sometimes insults. Be creative and visual if you need to convey back story. Overt declarations in dialogue are unnatural and belabor what could have been a much more subtle point.
• Novelization of action text. A script is not a novel. Do not spend 4 paragraphs verbosely describing: “Jim slowly stepped into the room, things appear untouched, he thought ‘this seems familiar’ as particles of dust catch the autumn sun, revealing the aged and worn wooden floor built in 1952, but later stained with blood in the 1974 murder.” Be concise!
• Excessive back story. Be discerning when disclosing back story. Is it truly important to the audience? If so does it need to be disclosed a the top of the script? Jim may have been an excellent baseball player in the third grade, but unless he has to slide into home to save his life, it just is not important to the story.
• Don’t put a fake production company on your cover page. Realistically, if you had your own production company, you wouldn’t really be trying to get someone else to produce your own work would you?
• Giant watermarks on every page. It’s one thing when you share the script with your friends, but as the FAQ for the Nicholl Fellowship says: “Do not print your pages with admonitions against copying your script. Good scripts need to be copied. Bad ones do not.”

Will you evaluate my script?

Yes, of course. Please email me at ScriptReading @ MerrelDavis.com for rates.

I’m excited this week because I’ll be speaking as a guest to an Advanced Screenwriting class at the New York Film Academy.  I was invited by my former screenwriting teacher Peter J. Hobbs at Elyria Pictures and I’ll be speaking about my experience as a script reader.

For a while now I’ve been reading and evaluating scripts for a small management company. It’s been a rewarding endeavor on all fronts and has informed my work as a screenwriter as well as better equipped me to market my own work.

I hope to share some bullet notes later this week after I’ve talked to the class. So sit tight if you want to know what a lowly script reader looks for in your script.

Cheers,

-Merrel

Apologies for the lack of updates the past two weeks. Things have been busy, but I finally broke free.

So! What’s going on?

Script Writing

I recently finished a four month intensive screenplay workshop at the New York Film Academy. The endeavor proved fruitful. In February, I finished my the first draft of my still unnamed feature script. In March, I worked on the first revision, and in the beginning of April I finished my second revision. The script is currently making rounds with some of my peers and mentors. I feel I need to work on some of my B stories and development of some secondary characters.

Overall the feedback on my feature script has been very promising. After another draft, I’ll explore entering it into a lab and possibly begin sending it out to production companies.

I’m in the preliminary writing stages of a trans-gendered romantic comedy. I’ve solicited the help of a writing partner who writes very “punchy” dialogue, which I like. I need to meet with him next week to push the project back in order.

I’ve also put down the foundation for a 1 hour drama TV spec with two other writing partners. It’s slow going as each of them are drafting up their own feature scripts currently.

On the short film front, I’ve written a 10 minute short called I Can’t Wake From Obsolete. It deals with concepts of planned obselescence taken to an extreme. My second revision and character backgrounds are in the hands of some producing students at NYFA. The short is the thesis for a directing student. I’m excited to see what he will do with it. The project is still currently in casting. More on this as it develops.

Other work:

I’ve been providing production assistance for Peabody and Emmy Award-winning documentary company. The past two months have been spent on a 2 hour project for National Geographic. The work is great, the people are great, the environment is electric. The program is set to air sometime in late June 2009. I’ll update when the official name and air-date are publically available.

I’m still working as a script reader for a managment company.  I’m reading lots of very bad scripts. And let me tell you, nothing is a better crash course in what not to do in screenwriting than reading some bad ones. Every once in a while I am treated to a good script, which makes it worthwhile as well.

Keeping in line with the aesthetic of my site, I made up some business cards. Like my splash page, I conjured up my graphic design prowess and hand drew the design.

Purdy, eh? I tested the waters with them over at the IFP Script to Screen conference last week. They were a hit.

So, what’s going on in Merrel-land? Quite a bit actually.

I sent my first draft and revisions of my screenplay to a select few close friends and mentors. The screenplay is still untitled, I’ve jokingly tossed the title Anybody Besides Merrel? But it seems too playful given the darker subject matter. Anyway, the first round of feedback seems to be that Act II isn’t strong. So, I’ll revisit that. I’m waiting for some more feedback before I take it out of the drawer.

My production internship at the documentary company has been great. The people are smart, driven and know how to tell a story. It’s a great environment. I had a reprieve this week as the core crew was overseas for six days shooting re-enactments for an upcoming National Geographic documentary.  They are back this week, so I anticipate to have some super crazy days later in the week. They’ll be transcribing and encoding around 50 DVCPRO tapes of footage.

Work as a script reader has proved fruitful as well.  I read and write coverage for about two to three scripts a week. I’m learning how to critically deconstruct a screenplay. It is interesting to view things from this side of screenwriting. I’m just packing away a wealth of knowledge. I’ll probably touch in greater detail in a separate post about the role of a script reader and its benefits.

I have three “floating” writing projects. One is a romantic comedy which I’m working with a classmate from the NYFA screenwriting workshop. The writing partner has a very specific dialogue driven spark. Which adds a great element to the writing.  I’m also working with a NYFA filmmaking student to re-work his thesis short script. Lastly a couple of other friends from the film academy have gotten together and we are working on a dialogue-heavy yet surreal table scene (ala Reservoir Dogs “Do you tip?”)At this rate there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not reading or writing a script.